By: Carolina Salazar

Have you ever felt stretched thin, with not enough time and energy for everything on your plate? Then you might have accidentally said “yes” to too many things. Here’s the thing: ”Yes” is a commitment, and “No” is a choice. That’s something I’ve learned during my personal growth journey, which I recently spoke about on LUNA The Podcast. Whenever we say “yes” to plans and agree to either help someone out, work on a new project, participate in a collaboration, or attend an event, that time in our calendar is gone. However, when we say “no,” it becomes a choice. Saying “no” empowers us because it’s then that we open ourselves up to other options of using our time to something that’s even more aligned with who we are or who we want to be. When we say no, we’re giving ourselves more space and time in our lives to commit to what’s truly going to “move the needle” and truly move us forward in the direction we want to go.

Oftentimes, when career and social opportunities come up, you might get excited about the potential that they bring; underlying it all, though, lies the fear that another opportunity will not come up. So, you say “yes,” even with quite a full calendar, list of commitments, and to-dos. Even if there’s an inner whisper telling you to say no, you let fear run the show and say yes. You overcommit. The truth is that when we commit to events that don’t feel like a full-bodied “YES,” we end up resenting what we must get done. Overloading our schedules is the highway to burnout. Now, there’s a caveat to the point at hand here. I’m not telling you to go ahead and say no to every opportunity that pops up; I’m here to encourage you to only commit to the full-body “heck yes” inducing opportunities that come your way.

When an opportunity does come up, avoid the urge to provide an immediate response and tune in to your mind instead. Notice if any fear or limiting beliefs come up for you, and remember that is not your highest, best self speaking. Instead, tune into the all-knowing voice inside that’s guiding you. What is your hunch? Usually, your body will speak to you. As Kate Northrup says in her book Do Less, “A yes feels like an expansion. It feels like I get more space inside my body. A no feels like a contraction and like the inside of my body is getting darker and more compact. I often get a tightening in my stomach and a feeling of slight anxiety for a no, especially when it comes to asking if I should move forward with a particular project or collaboration with someone.”

If you identify as a more practical person, you can also take a moment to look at your calendar and write out all of your existing commitments. Do you have space to add something new right now? Will this new opportunity move the needle for you in a powerful direction, or will it feel like a burden? For quite a long time in my work and social life, I struggled with feeling overwhelmed by every task, event, and obligation I had. My usual reflex was to say yes because I felt excited about the opportunity at hand and, most importantly, because I overestimated my most valuable resource: time. This has caused me to either overcommit and underdeliver, or to feel exhausted and burnt out. Therefore, with practice and patience, I’ve strengthened my mind-body connection to attune to my inner voice. I’ve also learned to be more realistic about how much time I have available to give to any new commitments.

If you’ve struggled with overcommitting and resonate with having a hard time saying no, my hope is that you remember that saying “no” leads you to greater empowerment. Saying “no” empowers you to let go of the need to please others or to get carried away by a lack of awareness. Saying “no” empowers you to honor your time, your energy, and your greater goals. □

About the Writer

Carolina Salazar is a Holistic Health Coach on a mission to empower women to live healthy, balanced lives through mind, body, soul and the stars. Carolina fuses simplified wellness with inner work, mindset and astrology in her approach to guide women towards empowerment. She is the face of The Carolina Lifestyle (@thecarolinalifestyle) and also the host of LUNA The Podcast.

Article Credits

Carolina Salazar’s Instagram: @thecarolinalifestyle

Carolina Salazar’s TikTok: @thecarolinalifestyle

Carolina Salazar’s Pinterest: @thecarolinalifestyle

Carolina Salazar’s Podcast: LUNA The Podcast