By: Kalyn Elizabeth Wood

When I think about what has inspired or impacted my confidence, I find it hard to pinpoint a specific event or give praise to one particular person. I have always possessed a reinforced sense of confidence from a very young age. My family has always encouraged me to be nothing but myself, and have always loved every bit of me: the good, the bad, and the ugly. Because of that strong support, no matter what I go through, the words “just be yourself” will ring true every single time. But, what happens if you don’t really know who you are? Well, that's the fun of it—growing up will help you figure it out. You will ‘fall forwards ‘ and realize that, slowly, you make mistakes. Your mistakes are not who you are, and they don’t define you; you define yourself by walking into life’s next chapters with fearlessness and openness.

Another impact on my confidence is love. I know I have been well-mothered and well-fathered, and I am so grateful for those two amazing people. They always meet everything with love. With them behind me, I can confidently drive forward in life.

Some of the most impactful events on my confidence (in a weirdly great way) are when things go wrong. My mom has always said that “The only way out is through.” This piece of wisdom then encourages me to put my head right in the muck of what is going on—I then am able to rise above and come out the other side a bit wiser and a lot more confident, having added that piece of advice to my tool kit for life.

Some basic elements that have most impacted my confidence:

• Self-love

  • Understanding what this meant for me took some time—and I am still working it out—but I discovered that it starts from the inside out. Starting this journey proved to be difficult; I found the concept of self-care confusing and thought of it as a fad trend spread all over social media. But, when I looked deeper, I realized that this journey starts from the bottom. I had to redefine what self-care meant for myself, and came to realize that that’s the beauty of it: we are all deliciously different. So, if your version of self-love is curling up on the sofa with chocolate and a movie, then go for it!!! (And also, could I be your best friend? I do the same thing.)

• Chocolate

  • It exists. Full stop.

• Exercise

  • Adding exercise into my life and daily routine drastically changed me. While I was an athlete growing up, I never really looked at it as exercise because it was just what I did in my free time. When I was at my lowest, however, I knew that I needed to move my body and initiate a change. Having battled and recovered from an eating disorder, exercise no longer focused on the way I looked, but instead on how I felt: strong. I started slowly and with a personal trainer, Quinn Fischman, whom I still work with two to three times a week. She believed in my strength, physically and emotionally, before I ever did. She has pushed, encouraged, and taught me so much about myself that I would not have been able to accomplish on my own. Even on the days when I am exhausted and sore beyond belief, I love the feeling after my workout is done because it means my internal strength is building more and more.

• Mental Health and Therapy

  • Do you like yourself? That is a question I had to ask myself during my lowest point a few years ago. The answer was yes, but I knew that there was so much unpacking and reconstructing that I would still need to work through. The fact is, no one goes through life unscathed by the cruelty it holds; instead, what is important is what we do when these moments happen, and, even more importantly, what we do after.

That’s the key to all of these pieces of advice: confidence. I know for a fact that if we genuinely like our bodies, then so can others. It doesn’t really matter if it’s short, tall, fat, or thin; it just matters that you can find something to like about it.

At the end of the day, confidence all comes from the inside. Liking ourselves is not about what we look like, it’s about how we feel. I know what I’ve got—mind, body, and soul—can be a bit strange and difficult to love, but those are the very aspects about myself that I love the most!

It’s a bit like people. I’ve never been particularly attracted to the idealized conventional beauty standards. I’ve never looked up to or been inspired by someone on the basis of what they look like. I have never quite understood people who feel compelled to conform because I personally love the adventure of difference. And what’s beauty, anyway? You define beauty for yourself, and that is the meaning of confidence. Walk through life being simply yourself, because there is only one you. □

watch our founder, nicole de fulgentiis interview kalyn on the topic of confidence by clicking the youtube video above

Article Credits

Kalyn is originally from New Orleans, LA but now splits her time as an actor in Los Angeles and London. She is finishing up a show in London with the Royal Academy of Dramatic Arts.
Her new film Undefiled will come out in theaters and streaming platforms in the US in December. You can find Kalyn’s on Instagram: @kalynelizabethwood

Photographer’s Information
Samuel Ryde Instagram