The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year?

HomeHealth
Written By Guest User

By: Michelle Richards

The holidays are often associated with pure joy and happiness; the music, the lights, the traditions, the food, the treats, and the gifts.

However, this time of the year can bring feelings of depression, loneliness, anxiety, and isolation to many people, and for many reasons.  The holidays often mean ‘family time,’ something that may not be available to or healthy for everyone. A lack of ‘family’ or a toxic home environment can cause great distress for some, often lasting far beyond the holiday season. Holidays often bring the financial pressure and expectation of gift-giving.  Not everyone has the financial means to spend a lot of money on holiday gifts. Since the holidays are so often spent with loved ones, it can be a reminder of those we have lost. When a loved one is missing from a holiday celebration, it can bring about a lot of grief. There are also additional stressors as to which family to spend the holidays with, especially in the case of divorce, blended families, or distanced family members. This can be a huge stressor, even causing flights within the family.

Obviously, there are many other reasons why someone might dread the holidays; all are legitimate reasons. So, how do we get through, or help our loved ones get through this time of year if it is a source of stress? The short answer: Set limits when and if you can.

We cannot control our family situations, but we can set limits. For example; who we decide to spend time with, and how much; who we buy gifts for and how much money we spend. It may be helpful to communicate these things in advance so you are on the same page as others you are planning to see or exchange gifts with so there are no surprises.

If you are in a toxic family situation, you are allowed to limit the time that you spend with them, or even skip these events  altogether. If an interaction is going to cause long-term family problems, these holiday celebrations may not be worth it. You need to protect your own mental health (and that of your partner and/or children if that applies to you) from unhealthy situations and interactions. Family members may not understand this decision, but if it is the best one for you, that is what matters.

Let’s take care of ourselves this holiday season. Spend time with the people who lift us up, bring us joy, and make us laugh; who make us feel comfortable, loved, and safe; those who love and accept us for who we are. Those are the people we should spend our most important days with. Sometimes, those people are our ‘actual’ family, and sometimes they are the family we decide for ourselves. □

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