Author & TEDx Speaker, Amberly Lago
What does resilience mean to you and how would you advise women to be more resilient?
After going through a near-fatal accident, surviving 34 surgeries to save my leg from amputation, and being diagnosed with a nerve disease dubbed “the suicide disease” called CRPS, I have learned a lot about resilience. True resilience is finding the courage to keep moving forward and choosing to live a life of joy and love even when things don’t go as planned.
For me resilience wasn’t about bouncing back, but instead bouncing forward stronger and reinventing myself. I believe resilience is your ability to adapt to new circumstances, build grit, give yourself grace, build a support network of friends and family, and embrace challenges as opportunities for growth—which is sometimes difficult, but absolutely possible. In fact, we all have a never-ending supply of resilience within us and over the last decade I have made it my life’s purpose to teach others how to tap into their own superpower of resilience.
It took years of fine-tuning but, I developed a tool called P.A.C.E.R. and it stands for PERSPECTIVE, ACCEPTANCE, COMMUNITY, ENDURANCE, and REST.
P-PERSPECTIVE—You have the ability to change your life with a simple shift in your perspective. The quickest and easiest way to do this is to hunt for the good, count your blessings and get grateful. Gratitude is alchemy and it turns what you don’t have into what you DO have and what you can’t do into what you CAN do.
A-ACCEPTANCE—Take radical accountability and be in acceptance for where you are on your journey. Love yourself, “scars” and all. Start where you are, use what you have, and do what you can. True acceptance allows you to be in the driver’s seat of your life and take action steps to live at your highest potential.
C—COMMUNITY—We aren’t meant to deal with life’s challenges alone. Together we are unstoppable. Reaching out for help, being of service, supporting each other, and collaborating is where the magic happens. Make connections that count and have conversations that matter.
E—ENDURANCE—This is where your passion and perseverance come into play. It’s about getting gritty and giving it your all. It is remembering your “WHY.” We don’t get burned out from doing the work. We get burned out when were forget “WHY” we are doing the work.
R—REST—It’s learning to rest but not quit. It’s taking the time to refuel and reboot. It’s realizing that resting is a necessity and not a luxury. It’s giving yourself grace and lots of it during challenging times.
You can watch my TEDx talk to learn more about the P.A.C.E.R. Method so you can get through any of life’s challenges.
What does confidence and courage look like to you?
It looks like jumping out of your comfort zone and doing things even if they scare you. Every time you fall and get back up, that’s one rep for your resilience. Every time you push past your comfort zone, it’s one rep for your growth. Each step you take regardless of how tough or scary it is, that’s one rep for courage.
When I did my first TEDx talk I was the only speaker that didn’t have a Ph.D. I was terrified to stand on that infamous red circle and share the most important message of my life. But my passion outweighed my fear and I remembered something my dad once told me, “It’s not about you. It’s about the people you serve.” I believe that you don’t have to have it all figured out, you don’t need all your ducks in row. You just have to start.
Believe in yourself and believe the world needs you. One of my favorite affirmations I write and say aloud when I’m having feelings of self-doubt or scared is, “I am fearlessly visible. I boldly shine my light.”
Who or what is your biggest motivator?
My children are my biggest motivators. When I was confined to a hospital bed for months, couldn’t even use the bathroom on my own, and was in so much excruciating pain, I didn’t know how I was going to get through the day. All I needed to hear was my daughter’s sweet voice say, “Mama” and it gave me strength. I also pray every day and rely on God to guide me and often revisit my purpose when I’m struggling or feeling weary. □